There’s too many success stories out there. So I’d like to recap my top 3 failures for the past year or so. I wanted to share my own obstacles that I have dealt with and am in the process of currently overcoming. Social media has always been about sharing your highlights, but no one ever sees the lowlights. The simple truth is that no one’s life is amazing all the time. We don’t see behind the scenes. So here I am today trying to show you a little behind the scenes look of my past year.
Being horrible rejected by a company after a job interview. Comments such as not a good fit, lack of maturity, skills don’t align all were given as post interview feedback on a sheet of paper post interview.
It felt horrible. I mean here I am working my butt off every single day in school, doing extracurricular activities, trying my best to give myself a chance of being successful and this is what happens? It’s just so demoralizing to receive that feedback. Then you see your fellow peers landing jobs and then you begin think is there something wrong with me?
I thought the interview went decent, I was obviously nervous, and wasn’t perfect, but to receive that kind of feedback was definitely not the best feeling in the world.
Quote of the Day:
“You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone to close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.
What I learned:
These were the first set of real professional interviews that I was going to have; of course it wasn’t going to be smooth. My degree is in business, naturally like all my peers, I’m irrationally confident in my own abilities. This experience definitely brought me down a notch. I could have blamed the recruiters for not being able to see how valuable an asset I could be, or blame other factors that could have led to their decision not to hire me. But that’s not a trait of a successful person.
I definitely could have prepared my answers better, I could have researched the company more, there were so many things that I could have done better. Life is a learning experience. The first step in improving is to look introspectively. I always think back to playing League of Legends back when I was 18. I would always blame my teammates, but when I actually started to focus on my own mistakes my ranking started to improve drastically. However my GPA went the opposite direction. (haha Plat I at my peak get at me – season 3 when it was actually hard. Tryndamere top all day.)
All in all, my entire job search process was a great experience, it humbled me, and I learned from my mistakes.
Side note: You always hear reports that the economy is bad, or that jobs are hard to find, and when you see someone land a job, you don’t think of the failures that they had to go through. Everyone has obstacles that they had to overcome. Everyone is confused about life’s uncertainty. Everyone experiences nervousness and failure. So don’t be demotivated, instead try to figure out how they landed that job, continue to network and grow as a person. Prepare your answers better and continue to develop your professional skills daily. Sometimes the answer lies within yourself? Are you working hard enough, are you spending 8 hours a day applying for jobs, are you networking every weekend. What can you do to make sure that you are successful, and ask yourself every single day.
It’s tough to hear feedback that someone doesn’t want you, but you have to be prepared to hear the word NO a lot in your life.
One of Thomas Edison’s most famous quotes:
Not achieving my main goal for the year. I set a goal last year to stop doing something that I felt was a detriment to my life, and to the goals that I wanted to attain. My goal was to stop watching porn. 365 days was the initial goal, and to continue forever after that. I got to around 220 days in February. Honestly I don’t know what happened, my life was going great, and I was pretty happy. One small misstep and my streak was broken. To be relatively close to the finish line, having a lot of momentum and it all came crashing down. 220 days just thinking about it makes me go that’s insane.
I was angry at myself, I built up 220 days and it all went to waste in 10 minutes.
What I learned:
I could look at it as a failure, but looking back in retrospect, I was so used to dealing with my problems by numbing the pain instead of finding an actual solution. Without porn I had to face the music. I actually had to deal with my problems. Stressed out for an exam? Okay maybe go for walk, or go shoot some hoops. Nervous for a presentation the next day? Practice a bit more. Got into a fight with a friend? Talk to them about it. For the past 2 or 3 years I have honestly felt that I have improved so much as a person that it wasn’t possible for me to grow this fast anymore. Yet each year I am pleasantly surprised with the results. 220 isn’t a failure to me, it’s more if a stepping stone towards where I want to be in the future, and something I know I am capable of. From 89->220-> infinity and beyond.
Final thoughts on #2:
Like drinking too much alcohol, or smoking too much weed. These are all methods of suppressing your real emotions. But the issue is that you’re not solving your problems, you’re putting a Band-aid that only hides the wound for now. The root cause must be solved so stop binging on Netflix, or wasting time on your phone, go solve your problems, go find purpose. Trust me. You will become way more happier.
Life is a journey, and you’re going to have to go through hard times, but every experience is a chance to learn something new.
Not reaching the GPA that I wanted
I set very high goals for myself and obviously not achieving them makes me feel horrible. Everyone has had those thoughts of: What am I doing, I’m so stupid, and How come I can’t be as successful as so and so.
I studied hard, but there were definitely periods where I could have worked harder. It’s frustrating not getting the results you want, I know.
It’s so easy to compare yourself to people who are smarter than you, better looking, and more successful. But at the end of the day no one really cares. Besides these people have their own problems to deal with. We are all unique in our own way. That successful athlete that you envy might have marital problems. That super intelligent person might be dealing with personal health issues that you are not aware about. That super good looking guy or girl might be stereotyped into being not as intelligent. You never know what’s going in a person’s life. We all have problems, and we have to face them ourselves with the support of the people around us.
Failing to reach a goal is not the end of the world. Learn from it, be disappointed but not demotivated. Love yourself, and ask yourself what you did well, instead of reflecting on the negative. Focus on the positive, and in the long run by creating this system of positive thinking it will spill into other aspects of your life as well.
So there you have it, my top 3 “failures” for 2016/2017. Hopefully all of you out there going through some of your own failures can relate to this post. We’re all in this together. Strive for Greatness.
Next blog post on Sunday/Monday with an up and coming 22 year old entrepreneur who dropped out of college to pursue his first business venture, how he did it, and what advice he has for people aspiring to be like him.